New York stuff I miss (Part II)

Blockheads

Cheap alcohol. Cheap Mexican food. Need I say more?

There's a great place from my hometown (Albany, New York) called Bombers Burrito Bar. It's in a class by itself and has been witness to many drunken escapades of mine. But Blockheads is a close second. It was a great place to go if I was a little homesick... and they've certainly seen their fair share of my drunken stupors.... and even though their food isn't as good, they make up for it with wonderful margueritas that rock the tequila out!!

It'll be one of the first places I hit up upon my return. I will get my drink on and it will be beautiful. Doves will take to the skies and the moon and stars will shine down, basking me in their holy lights.

Note: I ate some breakfast before I wrote this post, so I'm not dying of hunger pains... although I need to make a second note that writing about alcohol when you can't have it is equally torturous.

Tricking the trade

I don't have arthritis. I don't have dementia. I don't have heart problems or back aches... and yet, I feel old. Why do you feel old, Kyle?, you ask. (Thanks for caring, by the way.) Because I'm unqualified to hold the job I just left.

What?

I went to school for communications, journalism, and English, and I thought I did a pretty good job of learning the tricks of the trade while I was there. I thought I knew what the hell I was doing and that I'd be ready for career once I graduated. Wrongo. I've been out of school for less than two years and I'm already obsolete.

To tell you the truth, no one can prepare you for what comes after graduation. College and work are two different beasts... they teach you two different skills sets and there's rarely much crossover. But I think my two beasts don't just graze in different pastures, they're on totally different planets.

Constructing a website? Nope. Final Cut Pro? Nope. Adobe Flash Player? Grant writing? Nope. Nope. Hell, new media in general in a big NOPE.

So what to do when you're in a profession where you lack the skills necessary to compete effectively? Study. This is what I'm "learning." Ha.

I'm already working on my Masters, but I'm studying like crazy on the side to make sure I have these skills at the ready for a job... which, by the way, will definitely come before I finish my degree. I may not perfect those skills, but I'll have enough experience so I can just fudge the rest once I land something.

I thought school was the place where you learned everything and work was where you put those lessons into practice. How naive of me. I will never stop learning. Ever. Face it now.

Welcome to life, Kyle. Population: +1

How desperately do I need to return?

Don't get my wrong. I want to be back in New York more than a fat kid wants a cupcake... from Magnolia bakery (later entry)... oh god that's good stuff.... but... there is one reason I can think of that is slightly deterring me from working especially hard on my job search: unemployment benefits.

Who knew that you could get free money for doing nothing? Granted, I don't think I've ever been this busy in my entire life with all of the applications and paperwork... but I'm not doing anything to contribute to the success or output of ANYTHING... save myself.

Damn those benefits... that money... and from both the state and federal government! It's so nice and calming. Speaking of the government funding my life, I'll get a monster tax return next year if I'm unemployed, yes?

I've noticed bookkeeping can become an addiction when you're unemployed. There are so many opportunities to get money. For doing nothing!! Hell, I'm getting paid to go to Europe for two and a half weeks! (I'll still be applying for jobs overseas you government officials.)

Of course, it all ends in 26 weeks time, and I've already been going for about three weeks now, but that's a long time away.

Truth be told, it's why I haven't taken hourly work. I'm making a pretty penny and don't see more dough coming from a job at the local Target (but I would love the discounts!! Can we make that happen??).

So until actual, reasonable employment is available (and yes, I still have the WFP gig lined up if need be), the unemployment is being milked (legally) for all it's worth. Moo.

Good day to you and your job, my good sir

So. You entice people with a new blog and then three posts in you give up, right? Wrongo.

I've just been busy people and have neglected you. For that, I apologize. But you'd be surprised how packed my schedule has been since I have explored the world of the unemployed (I know I was)... and y'all could have nudged me along to keep on writing. I'm just saying. If you needed your fix of my witty humor, then you could have stalked me and demanded I make an update. Granted, I would have probably called the cops... but you WOULD have gotten a posting out of it. Even if you ended up with a restraining order slapped on you.

Let's put this chatter aside, though, because I have some news. I have a job!

That's right ladies and gentlemen. I was out of work for less than a month before the Working Families Party came knocking on my door. Well, I technically knocked on theirs, but it's all just semantics in the end. They wanted me. Oh did they ever.

I sent in an application via their website, heard from them a couple days later, went down for an interview last week, and was offered the gig right on the spot. I'll be canvassing with them and doing office work every so often... so it's not the ideal job, but it's a job! My official start date is June 22, so I plan to keep hunting in case something better comes along. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for the opportunity, but I don't want to jump at the first person that shows me a little decency. That's called being a whore. And no sir, I am not a job whore.

Good day to you.

New York stuff I miss (Part I)

Empanada Mama

This fine eating establishment has it all: empanadas stuffed with about any filling you can imagine and CHEAP sangria.

The menu has more than 40 different varieties to choose from... personal favorites include the ever popular "Viagra" (seafood mix) and "The Hawaiian" (ham, pineapples, and mozzarella cheese). Almost as good as the food is the alcohol. A large pitcher of sangria for just $25. No joke. I know, I know, I fell over the first time I saw that price, too (granted, it was after I had half the pitcher, but that's besides the point).

It's fun, festive, and cozy... and I want it now.

Note to self: never write posts about food you cannot have when it's dinner time.

Puffery the Magic Dragon

Résumés are the bane of my existence.

ré⋅su⋅mé

 [rez-oo-mey, rez-oo-mey]

–noun

1.	a summing up; summary.

2.	a brief written account of personal, educational, and professional qualifications and experience, as that prepared by an applicant for a job.

How do you make a résumé stand out? I'm finding it hard to compete with applicants who have waaaaay more experience than me. And obviously, that's what it all comes down to... experience. I have experience (some). I'm not Barack Obama, but I've had some good jobs (let us forget the couple months I worked for Abercrombie & Fitch). So how does one make his/her work stand out when every third person has the same résumé... or one that's even better?!

May I now introduce to floor... Puffery, ladies and gentlemen.

Making something out of (almost) nothing. It's not lying. Lying is wrong and will make your pants spontaneously combust if you're unlucky. It's just making the best of what you've got.

I'll highlight some details, add those sizzle words, and maybe even quadruple bold the NBC factor and I'll be well on my way to a powerhouse résumé. Mind you, I've considered adding glitter and some cologne to make it stand out... but it's so hard to accomplish when you're emailing an application. Sigh.

Greetings from the Vortex

Welcome to Return to New York- a new blog about the trials and travails of a former New Yorker and his quest to get back to the city he loves.

I was born and raised in New York State, so one would think that wherever I lived, it must be just a hop, skip, jump, or some other spastic movement to Manhattan. But the five boroughs always seemed so big and far away. Why? Because I lived in Albany. It sucks you in and refuses to let you leave.

I petitioned local officials to have the city renamed Inescapable Vortex... but they didn't really go for it.

At the time, my whole life was in Albany. I grew up in a nearby suburb, went to high school in the area, and even decided to say there for college.

Then college graduation happened! I wriggled free from the Vortex, moved to the city a week later, and started interning at MSNBC. That internship became a job, and that job became a promotion to a better job with NBC News. Then the recession hit and my contract wasn't renewed.  My apartment lease just ended, and as I'm still unemployed, I decided to move back home with the parentals until I can find a stable job and move back to the city. My city. My home.

This little blog will track my progress in reaching my ultimate goal: re-residing in the most special of cities (but wait... there'll be even more! Stay tuned to find out).

Thus commences my journey to... Return to New York.